Dear Jhalak,
It was Friday yesterday, and we had hardly anything to do at the office, so I was doing my daily chores and had some time to contemplate the question you asked the other day.
Yes, we were good friends, and I still hold no grudges since we last talked. As a man, I follow a simple principle: I do not enter a woman’s personal space unless cordially invited. Back then, we were close and shared our lives in a certain way. You were a different woman to me then, and after the change, you are a different woman to me now. You were a firsthand witness to all those events, so I won’t summarize them for the sake of your privacy and dignity.
However, I would like to mention that the place I am serving at is very sensitive and requires a certain level of integrity and honor. The responsibility we have on our shoulders is so huge and noble that it changes people’s lives on a mass level, and I am one of those who represent this place. In this kind of setup, your actions put me in a difficult situation—not on a personal level, because I am very sorted in my personal life—but in the workplace, where I connect with countless individuals in a certain way. It was purely unnecessary to handle things in that manner, and it started a thread of gossip that affected the environment. I am very open to facing the ups and downs of life, and failed relationships are no shock to me. Even if I have to make some sacrifices, I do not want to see the purity of my most beloved place fade.
I have lived among simple people my whole life, among Sardars (Punjabis). I don’t want to share my life and time with people and groups where individuals do not have some sort of Nobility and moral values, where an individual is not sensitive towards others. In my inner circle, we always care for each other and put our bros’ interests above our personal interests. That’s the level of humanity we have. At the centre, this was the first time I was open and available to all sorts of people, and I met you, Mukund, and Saurabh here. This was the ultimate test of my existing way of life and trying something new. Notably, I gained a lot, so a few mishaps seem negligible to me at this moment. I met wonderful people here.
I was and am not affected (at all) by what Saurabh did or what anyone else involved in the whole scene did, but I do find you responsible for the complications that arose. Your actions demonstrated a lack of honesty and sensitivity, and they triggered unnecessary gossip that disrupted the environment. I do not find you a suitable person with whom I can share any part of my life. You have lost that trust. I do not know the future, but you have to earn back any chance of reconciliation.
As one of my teachers says:
“All of life’s misery and joy stem from our interactions with other humans. Our relationships and the way we treat others play a crucial role in shaping our emotional well-being. When we bring happiness to another person, it inevitably brings us immense joy and fulfillment. Conversely, when we complicate someone else’s life, it is impossible to find peace and contentment in our own. Our actions towards others, whether positive or negative, directly impact our own happiness and tranquility.”
I wish you all the best, though, with a Punjabi song’s line below:
Which translates as:
“Since the dawn of time, a fate you’ve borne,
Desired by many, yet truly known by none.
Yearning for abundant love, seek a lover’s embrace,
Love freely shared, not bartered, but grace.
Nothing arrives without cost, all bears a price,
Unsettled debts accumulate, unseen yet precise.”
-Kamal
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