Yesterday, started off like any other day, until my friend asked if she could use the charger which was plugged into the extension board. Without giving it much thought, I responded abruptly, “Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, leave it right there.” She didn’t say a word, moved to another desk, and continued with her work.
As the day progressed, I needed to go to her corner for something. When I interacted with her again, her tone had changed. Her voice was louder as she asked, “Why couldn’t you just tell me politely that I couldn’t use the charger? No one has the right to talk to me like that. What am I, an animal?”
I explained that if she was so particular about manners, she should’ve asked for permission before taking the charger, not after unplugging it and claiming it. If she had done that, her complaint about my tone would’ve been valid. We went back and forth for a couple of minutes, with neither of us budging.
After the argument, I made a dramatic gesture like Joe from Friends and walked away. But later, I had to return for some work, so I broke the ice with a smile and said, “You fight so efficiently! Where did you learn that?”
She burst into laughter, playfully slapped me on the back, and confessed, “I was mad at someone else all morning. I couldn’t fight with him, so I took it out on you since you’re my friend.”
Me, to myself: I knew it, but I kept quiet. Normally, I might’ve joked, “Ladki ho na,” which would’ve made her furious again and prompted her to call me an anti-feminist (as she often does when I crack gender-based jokes). I’ve made fun of my female friends’ driving skills before, all in good humor, but it often may strike a nerve in an over sensitive person like her..
This situation, however, wasn’t about gender at all. It was about human nature. What if I hadn’t broken the ice and lightened the mood? While I wasn’t personally affected because I understand and accept her for who she is, it was a different story for her. She couldn’t release her frustration at the right person and ended up feeling worse for lashing out at me instead.
When we mismanage our emotions, we often create unnecessary complications in life. Failing to express our feelings in the right way not only causes harm to others but also leaves our own issues unresolved. This only leads to more pain, making life unnecessarily difficult and unfulfilling.
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