Day before Yesterday, Ruchi visited the center to deliver gifts for my newly married colleague, Piko, and to retrieve the tiffins she had sent to me earlier, filled with the delicious food she lovingly prepared. Together with my colleague, we shared tea and discussed the significance of fasting and the challenges that come with changing our food habits. Our conversation drifted through various aspects of our lives, touching on both the mundane and the profound.
I mentioned to Ruchi that Piko and I would drop her off at Sisodia Rani Ka Bagh, from where she could catch an auto or an Uber home. Shortly after, PK Bhaiya arrived. We boys went to the dining hall to discuss ways to improve the sound clarity in the hall, he had been delayed by a meeting and arrived later than planned, just as everyone was preparing to retire for the night.
Later, PK and I reflected on the hardships men face in life, sharing our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. Meanwhile PK kindly offered Ruchi a ride into the city, but she chose to stay with us instead, as she wanted to spend a bit more time with us.
As the evening wore on and PK was preparing to leave, I realized that the office car hadn’t arrived yet, and the weather had turned uncertain. It was quite late. Once again, PK generously offered to take both of us into the city, drop her off, and then bring me back to the center. Despite this, she chose to ride on the scooty with Piko and me, preferring our company even if it meant a delay.
As I and Piko rode back after dropping Ruchi to Transport Nagar, a stream of thoughts flowed through my mind. I found myself pondering the kindness of a man who, after a long day filled with worldly affairs, still had the generosity to offer me a ride back to the center, despite the fact that I barely add any tangible value to his life. We know each other through the center, where I serve long-term and he holds the responsibility of being a trust member. How is it that, despite his long and tiring day, he remains so kind?
Then it struck me—that’s just what men do. It’s how they are built. It reminded me of a past experience with a female colleague who had also faced hardships in life but had reacted very differently. Her struggles had hardened her, leading her to pass on the misery she had endured to others. You may read the incident by clicking here.
I once considered myself a feminist, but I’ve been fortunate enough to be in a place where I encounter hundreds of people each month, listening to their life stories. Through these experiences, I’ve come to realize that men and women are fundamentally different and find fulfillment when they live in alignment with their core qualities.
Men and women respond to life’s joys, sorrows, challenges, and achievements in distinct ways. Women are like a constant flux, flowing with change, while men are like steadfast rocks, grounded in their principles. This difference reflects in their natures as well—where men can hold onto their principles above all else, women have the ability to nurture existence so profoundly that, without them, men would be incapable of fully realizing their true potential.
Whereas hardships often make men kinder and more sensitive to others, a woman who lacks the love and affection she deserves from her parents or partner can sometimes become cruel and insensitive, especially toward men. Of course, there are exceptions—some men become hardened by their struggles, just as some women remain loving despite the absence of affection.
A wise man once said, “A man who receives abundant love and care from his mother, sisters, and partner will always be respectful toward other women. Similarly, a woman who receives love and affection from her father, brother, and partner will be just as respectful toward other men.” We are capable of giving what we have received. If we have been given love, we can offer love in return.
And just as we arrived at the center, I hit the “off” switch on my thought machine and decided to save the mental gymnastics for another day.
“I’m about to head to the train station to pick up my friend and will reread this later for any errors.”
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